Non-Stop

In the few years I've reviewed movies, I have never used the term "thrill-ride". But that's exactly what Non-Stop is. Liam Neeson may be a bit too seasoned for an action hero career, but it's almost as if he gets more powerful with every movie he makes. Jaume Collet-Serra directed this thriller after 2011's Unknown (another Liam Neeson thriller).

Bill Marks (Neeson) is a federal air marshal who investigates the passengers of a flight to London as a stranger sends messages to his phone, threatening to kill someone every 20 minutes. On paper, and even in the trailers, this looks and sounds like a ridiculously dumb movie. It's not incredibly ludicrous, but there are moments where you have to suspend your disbelief if you have any. Planning to kill someone on an airplane every 20 minutes can't go without meticulous planning and a few speed bumps. 

There were some things that the film did very well. Cinematography (minus a bit of shaky cam) was excellent, whether it was a blurring effect, or a long take. That and a rather large cast helps emphasize the impossibility of finding someone who's just using a cell phone to text. I can guarantee, you will have no idea who is behind it all throughout the entire movie.

Julianne Moore, who appears to be in everything nowadays, plays Jen Summers, who quickly gains the trust of Marks as he searches for the terrorist. It's no different than anything she usually does. She's likable in that outgoing older woman kind of way. Corey Stoll plays a disgruntled, less than politically correct passenger who becomes more and more frustrated with the lack of information as the flight goes on. Stoll, if you don't know him from House of Cards, gives a strong performance as well as the rest of the cast.

Liam Neeson seemed to half-ass his way through this movie. I don't know if he wants to be put into these roles, or if he keeps taking them because they're being offered. He's making a name for himself as an action hero, so he may as well look like he wants to be there. We don't need another Bruce Willis.

Despite logical fallacies here and there, the film has a gripping, fast-paced story line that is clearly laid out for the audience. There's never a dull moment on a plane to London. If there's one thing in this movie I can't deal with, it's that Marks is an air marshal. Air marshals should not be air marshals if they hate flying.

Character development isn't a strong suit of Collet-Serra, as Neeson's characters in both Non-Stop and Unknown tend to be focused on blatantly throwing a few key details of their lives on screen and hoping the audience cares. I don't really care if he's an alcoholic, I just want to see him catch a bad guy. 

Non-Stop provides the audience with a mystery they can try to solve while enjoying the film itself. It has its action, an easily followed plot, and a few laughs along the way. If you enjoy planes, Liam Neeson, and some creative texting animations, and you're willing to ignore a few preposterous events, then you will enjoy Non-Stop.

Rating: B

47 Ronin

47 Ronin depicts the fictional account of the group of 47 samurai in 18th Century Japan avenging their master's death, and stopping Lord Kira (Tadanobu Asano) from taking control of their region. Oishi (Hiroyuki Sanada) leads the Ronin after being banished from their land. A mixed race outcast, Kai (Keanu Reeves), joins them in an attempt to gain their respect.

Due to a studio decision to reshoot a lot of the film, it's been heavily criticized. And the way it's being marketed is killing it at the box office. But I'm here to set the record straight. It hasn't completely earned the 12% on rotten tomatoes. Because even with its unfocused plot and a Japanese cast speaking English, its action sequences can be exciting. It does, however, take too long to get off the ground. 

Walking out of the theater, my friends and I agreed that it was paced very well, the time goes by pretty fast. However, after the first 20 minutes, it is slow, boring, and unimportant. Everyone yawned at least once in the theater. At the halfway point, it begins to pick up again, but you don't really care anymore because there was a 40 minute period that lost your interest completely. 

Oishi was originally supposed to be the main focus of the film. And I think Kai could have been a big part of it too, had the film been an hour longer and written better. Reeves was supposed to have a minor role, but is now splitting the protagonist in two with Asano. Reeves gives such a wooden performance, combined with his appearance, you could compare to Liam Neeson's Qui-Gon Jinn. The rest of the cast did what they could, but it may have just been better letting the Japanese speak their own language, forcing the audience to read subtitles.

Mizuki (Rinko Kikuchi), a witch that serves Lord Kira had a lot of screen time with no real development. A short (anti-)climactic battle with Reeves felt tension-less. She was wrapped in generated images the entire time. Her scenes with Mika (Kou Shibasaki) seemed more sensual than threatening.

Mika and Kai have this forbidden relationship. While Kikuchi is probably the best actress in this, the love story between her character and Reeves' can't be given any craps. Why not? Because you really just forget about it. The film is split into two plot lines, Kai's and Oishi's, each having their own story arcs. The love story, being part of Kai's, has such little attention the over-dramatic ending leaves the audience indifferent towards the two of them.

Outsiders, or people of a different race, were not allowed in feudal Japan. However, because Kai is mixed race (I would assume the other half is white), he is ostracized as a demon. You even see the people he came from at some point in this movie. The feudal Japanese people labeled white people as demons. The more you think about the things depicted, the more ridiculous everything seems.

The film doesn't just have a subtle discrimination toward Caucasians, but it feels generally offensive of Japanese culture in general. It wasn't mocking it (intentionally). But it used plenty of ideas from the culture that forced the audience to laugh when it wasn't intended. It also claims the Ronin were on a journey that would defeat most men, but it was more like "Let's get swords!" and then "Let's kill them!" The simplicity of the poorly re-written plot is astounding.

There is an extensive use of CGI that just explains why this movie went so far over budget besides reshoots. There were so many occurrences that took me out of the movie that made me think "That is completely unnecessary." The film is mostly shown in 3D, but I saw it in 2D, because no one wants to pay for it unless it's critically acclaimed necessary (i.e. Gravity). Because a good third of the movie is so boring, you may need the 3D just to keep your attention.

To clear something up, the marketing for this movie has a poster dedicated to this one character that has roughly 10 seconds of screentime. No joke. This guy has one line. He doesn't even have a name, he's credited as Savage (Rick Genest). This must have been the highest paid one line from an unknown actor in history. 

I will say that it has some impressive action sequences, though cut short. The ending feels predictable, but it actually is fairly original. Because when it gets to the point where you're thinking "I know what's going to happen" it twists into something completely different. It is still less satisfying than what you expected of it.

Overall, you may not remember this movie two days after you watch it. I'm already starting to fade. Dialogue is an issue with practically the entire cast. Visual effects are dazzling, but quickly grow tiresome. A split plot may as well split scores in half. This movie would be bearable had a third of it been more memorable, but with all of its problems, you will probably leave disappointed in 47 Ronin.

Rating: C-

The Wolf of Wall Street

Martin Scorsese brings us his latest epic crime film, The Wolf of Wall Street. Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) slowly builds his fortune through a series of less than legal practices as a stockbroker. After his original firm goes belly up working legally, Belfort teams up with Donnie Azoff (Jonah Hill) to start living the high life by screwing over hundreds of working class people, and he soon finds himself under investigation by FBI Agent Patrick Denham (Kyle Chandler).

To get a point across quickly, DiCaprio should get an Oscar for this. End of story. Hill should be nominated. Scorsese will be nominated, could win. So now that the Oscar talk is out of the way, let's get started.

This movie has easily the best written dialogue in any film this year. DiCaprio's monologues are all bullshit, but they're inspiring at the same time. Belfort feels like a man in control of his own destiny. He feels like a representation of the American dream if that dream were to fuck bitches, get money, and do enough drugs to sedate New York for a month. He's a man that makes you feel like anything is possible as long as you have money. And for the most part, he's right.

Matthew McConaughey is in this movie for about 10 minutes. He gives one lengthy monologue, but everyone is so invested. He'll have you beating your chest and humming in that rhythm as you walk out of the theater. Jonah Hill is clearly at his best, comically and dramatically. You can tell he's still getting used to dramatic roles, but this was about 95% comedy for his character.

Like in most of Scorsese's films, everything comes together and is wrapped up nicely. The narrating lead character goes through changes and eventually deals with them. Belfort is a criminal that you can sympathize with. He may be victimizing less fortunate people, but he also helps people to whom he is the closest. He has troubles at home with his wife (Margot Robbie), and he has the worst drug problem depicted since Scarface, while there are better examples this one comes to mind.

If I had to describe this movie in terms of other movies, I would put it this way. It has the structure of Goodfellas, the quotability of Pulp Fiction, the setting of Wall Street, and the drug depiction of Scarface (maybe worse). I had a smile on my face for the first two hours of the movie.

It slows down in the last hour or so, because Belfort has built his empire, and he now has to sustain it. It doesn't get boring or tedious to watch, but it's significantly different from the first two thirds of the film. For some of my reviews, I take notes on what I like, dislike etc. But this film was gripping my attention so tightly for its entirety, that I couldn't bother to look down.

Many things are over-the-top and just louder about this movie. The trailer captures it fairly well. It's like The Great Gatsby except it probably deserves an NC-17 rating. Between the drugs, the language, and the amount of softcore porn, this film barely squeaked by the MPAA and it will make many couples uncomfortable. When you see DiCaprio blowing cocaine into the asshole of a prostitute, you know you're getting into something you weren't expecting.

Scorsese has mastered pacing long movies over the course of his career. This is a three hour movie that feels like two or two-and-a-half. He keeps you invested by keeping everything upbeat and fun to watch. Even in the film's darkest moments, you're still enjoying it. Jordan Belfort is the man that men should aspire to be in terms of attitude and ambition. This film will be winning Oscars come February. I suggest you go see it, just don't bring a date. 

Rating: A+

Grudge Match

Henry "Razor" Sharp (Stallone) retired from the boxing right before a tie-breaking fight with Billy "The Kid" McDonnen, who has spent the last thirty years waiting for a chance to redeem himself after a loss to Sharp. Sharp has been living day to day working manual labor in Pittsburgh, while McDonnen opened a restaurant. Both are fairly out of shape, and well, old. Kevin Hart plays basically himself trying to promote the fight.

Sylvester Stallone has built his career based on his character Rocky Balboa. And a high point of DeNiro's still booming career is playing Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull. What could be a better tribute film to the apparently dead genre of boxing films than Grudge Match?

This basically feels like every Rocky movie thrown sloppily together. Every plot of every Rocky film that later turned into a cliché might just be in this movie. The only thing missing was the actual theme song. Stallone and DeNiro both play their parts well respectively. The problem is it's basically a comedy film that has a lot less heart than it's supposed to have. Even worse, it's not that funny.

The jokes have a hard time landing. Alan Arkin plays Lightning, Razor's trainer, and I wish I could say he stole the show like he does in everything, but the film seems really unbalanced in terms of comedic timing. Which is really something when you're talking about Arkin. Kevin Hart on the other hand, just comes off as annoying. Both of them are there for the jokes, but in the showing I was in, the audience laughed at maybe 25% of them.

The film has a gross amount of product placement. It wasn't nearly as bad as Skyfall, Man of Steel, or the should-be-erased-from-history Jack & Jill. But between the number of people with the same phone in a different color that wasn't an iPhone and a giant sign on the ground with the Target symbol (and name brand) on it, it was disturbing.

For the first half of the movie, everyone is so focused on getting people to go to the fight. If you really sat down and thought about it for less than ten seconds you would assume thousands of people would want to see a grudge match like this no matter how old they were. In fact, the chance that one of them dies would fill the venue alone. It even has a cringe-inducing scene of Stallone and DeNiro singing a terrible rendition of the national anthem at a rodeo, though it is more than clearly a cheap green screen.

Joe Bernthal plays B.J. (don't worry, they address it), McDonnen's son, and like the rest of the movie, their story arc is pretty cliché ridden too. Bernthal was a great choice appearance wise, and he is a remarkably good actor. B.J.'s mother (Kim Basinger), Sally Rose (or blonde Adrian, whatever), attempts to reconnect with Razor as B.J. attempts to connect with McDonnen.

B.J. has a son named Trey (Camden Grey) who might just be the funniest part of this movie. He is one of the reasons why this movie has heart. I would not have been as invested had it not been for Grey's performance. As funny as it is to see Arkin making old jokes, it's even funnier seeing a child call DeNiro old. And yes, there is your irresponsible parenting twist cliché that is resolved fairly quickly.

If you've seen Raging Bull and all of the Rocky films, then you could either enjoy it or write it off as a terrible way for DeNiro and Stallone to relive their glory days. Seriously, everything about Razor's story arc just screams Rocky Balboa. The main differences being he's more introverted and poorly makes dog sculptures out of scrap metal. The final fight uses themes from the Rocky films that make it all too familiar.

There were simply too many missed opportunities for some real heartfelt moments. You can tell that they tried in several scenes, but even a great cast can't pull it off with a weak script. There's just too much geriatric humor. You couldn't count how many times the phrase "I'm old" was dropped. On the bright side, it was paced very well, I was never bored thanks to my love for the Rocky films. But it ended very abruptly.

I don't know if I can recommend this. It's not like it's as bad as Rocky V, but it doesn't have the heart of Rocky Balboa. Why am I judging this based on these movies? Because they're the same movies. They try to make you root for both fighters, but DeNiro plays an antagonist, even if you sympathize with him. If you're a fan, I'd suggest you give it a try. While ridden with clichés, it makes a somewhat enjoyable movie for a very narrow audience.

Rating: C-

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is directed by and stars Ben Stiller. Walter Mitty (Stiller) leads a dull life. He doesn't know how to fill out his eharmony profile. He has spent the last 16 years dealing with photographs for LIFE magazine. For the last issue, the executives, led by some dick (Adam Scott), want to use a photo of Sean O' Connell's (Sean Penn) that was not delivered to Mitty's department. He decides to track down the nomadic O'Connell and find the missing photo to begin enjoying his life, stop daydreaming, and impress his office crush (Kristen Wiig).

Anything you liked about the trailers for this movie were mostly in the first 30-40 minutes. Outside of the jokes that everyone has seen, not a lot of them actually land. Most of them just come off as normal conversation. I'd chalk it up to bad comedic timing.

This movie is so predictable, everyone might have thought of the ending 10 minutes in. You're never really sure until it's revealed. The ending of every scene is as predictable as a coin with two heads. 

Mitty has a bad habit of daydreaming or "zoning out". It's interesting the first time (the one from the trailer), but after a while it jiust gets annoying. A couple of them just felt cartoonish and stupid. Kristen Wiig is placed throughout the film in these dreams as a reminder for why he's taking this journey but it feels really forced.

The character of Mitty would be more relatable if instead of zoning out during every confrontation, he either stood up for himself or backed down. Doing one or the other is more interesting than something we immediately know isn't really happening.

Adam Scott has gotten used to playing a complete douchebag on screen outside of Parks & Recreation. He seems comfortable in his role, but everyone outside of Ben Stiller and Sean Penn seem to be half-assing this movie. Patton Oswalt is literally phoning it in as the eharmony IT guy.

Kristen Wiig could be replaced by any other female actress. She isn't useless, but there's nothing unique about this role of Cheryl that puts Wiig above anyone else.

Sean Penn has a small role, but it's very different from what we've seen him in before. He used to being an over-the-top temperamental character. But in here he's calm, philosophical, almost inspiring, but his small amount of screen time isn't enough to turn this movie around.

This movie has been in planning for the better part of 2 decades. It feels like Stiller had this thrown into his lap, and he decided to try and make some kind of breakthrough out of it. While the cinematography is beautiful, it felt like some tourist advertisements for Greenland and Iceland. Its editing feels pretentious. The terrific music and beautiful landscape shots may be cool, but it makes it look like the movie is trying to be inspiring, without pulling it off.

Walter has this sister (Kathryn Hahn) who seems to serve no purpose at all. She doesn't even advance the plot in a way that another character couldn't. She must be there for comic relief, but EVERYONE is there for comic relief, so she just felt completely pointless.

Because of Stiller's comedic roots, the film simply can't be taken seriously as a drama. And since it's written and marketed as a comedy, but pretends to be this coming-of-age epic, the audience will walk out feeling neutral towards the film as a whole. It's perfectly bearable, but the life of Walter Mitty isn't as secret as they'd like us to think.

Rating: C