Godzilla

I'm not one of the many people who grew up loving the monster that is Godzilla, nor am I one to completely shit on the 1998 film. I say these things, because I don't want my perception of this movie to seem biased when I express my opinion over it. It's been 16 years since the universally-panned version starring Matthew Broderick hit theaters, and I've never witnessed a more resounding acceptance for a reboot.

Bryan Cranston plays a scientist at a nuclear research facility in 1999 Japan, yada yada yada, tremors aren't natural disasters, blah blah blah, Godzilla. Seriously, I won't even bother with the premise, that's how straight forward this is. Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Kick-Ass) plays Cranston's grown-up son who, in 2014, is a lieutenant in the U.S. Navy with a wife and son of his own. Ken Wantanabe plays the Japanese scientist who dramatically says "Gojira". There's really no one else worth caring about in the movie, so let's get further into it.

This movie was marketed extremely well in that it included some really cool shots, gave very few plot details, and greatly mislead everyone into believing Heisenberg would be the focus of this movie. He's not. He's fantastic when he's there, but he's only on screen for a good 30-40 minutes before he's tossed aside, which doesn't so much irritate me as it does disappoint me.

The movie tries to focus on the people instead of the monster, which is ideal, but not when the people are so incredibly boring. Taylor-Johnson's character is so bland, I just googled "so bland" to see if I could rip a joke off the internet, and I found another review for this movie. Call me lazy, but I'm admitting it to you anyway. I couldn't bring myself to care about any single character. There's nothing particularly special about any of them. It's like the writers put all of their hearts and souls into making Cranston awesome, and then said "that's it for character development". Godzilla had better character development than Kick-Ass, and it's only because Wantanabe's character seemingly made stuff up for his backstory.

There were too many serious moments that came off as jokes, specifically to the kid in the audience who was basically heckling the entire movie (though he made some good points). Godzilla drives itself into a rut that it doesn't feel the need to get out of. The same cycle of events keeps going until they decide to end it. The sad part is, the entire movie feels like you're waiting for something different to happen. It never really pays off. I found myself checking the clock about an hour into the movie, and then several more times before it ended.

That said, every time I was about to write off this movie, some jaw-dropping moments occurred. What the film lacks in writing, it tries to make up for in visual effects, cinematography, and Bryan Cranston. Godzilla has never looked better, bigger, or awesome-r than now. But even when the king of monsters is on screen, there's a general consensus in the audience of "too little, too late". Granted, there were two particular moments towards the end that literally had the audience cheering and applauding that make the film half-worth it.

I don't remember the last time I've walked out of a theater where the audience had applauded during the movie that I disliked as much as this one (if that's ever even happened). It felt so generic, even for a monster movie, that I walked out of saying "I am not ever going to sit through that again." It's a movie with characters so wooden, you may as well root for the monster that burns them (came up with that by myself, no need for Google).

Every year there are movies that fill certain roles. Last year's Pacific Rim was a movie I thought was going to suck Transformer balls, but ultimately surprised me. I was really hoping that would be Godzilla, which lands in Great Gatsby territory of amazing trailers but mediocre results. It could even be the most over-hyped movie since Man of Steel. However, I went in with no expectations, with the exception of Heisenberg. And if you're super amped for this movie, you're going to walk out with a sour taste in your mouth.

Giant Monster Thriller: B

Average: C-

47 Ronin

47 Ronin depicts the fictional account of the group of 47 samurai in 18th Century Japan avenging their master's death, and stopping Lord Kira (Tadanobu Asano) from taking control of their region. Oishi (Hiroyuki Sanada) leads the Ronin after being banished from their land. A mixed race outcast, Kai (Keanu Reeves), joins them in an attempt to gain their respect.

Due to a studio decision to reshoot a lot of the film, it's been heavily criticized. And the way it's being marketed is killing it at the box office. But I'm here to set the record straight. It hasn't completely earned the 12% on rotten tomatoes. Because even with its unfocused plot and a Japanese cast speaking English, its action sequences can be exciting. It does, however, take too long to get off the ground. 

Walking out of the theater, my friends and I agreed that it was paced very well, the time goes by pretty fast. However, after the first 20 minutes, it is slow, boring, and unimportant. Everyone yawned at least once in the theater. At the halfway point, it begins to pick up again, but you don't really care anymore because there was a 40 minute period that lost your interest completely. 

Oishi was originally supposed to be the main focus of the film. And I think Kai could have been a big part of it too, had the film been an hour longer and written better. Reeves was supposed to have a minor role, but is now splitting the protagonist in two with Asano. Reeves gives such a wooden performance, combined with his appearance, you could compare to Liam Neeson's Qui-Gon Jinn. The rest of the cast did what they could, but it may have just been better letting the Japanese speak their own language, forcing the audience to read subtitles.

Mizuki (Rinko Kikuchi), a witch that serves Lord Kira had a lot of screen time with no real development. A short (anti-)climactic battle with Reeves felt tension-less. She was wrapped in generated images the entire time. Her scenes with Mika (Kou Shibasaki) seemed more sensual than threatening.

Mika and Kai have this forbidden relationship. While Kikuchi is probably the best actress in this, the love story between her character and Reeves' can't be given any craps. Why not? Because you really just forget about it. The film is split into two plot lines, Kai's and Oishi's, each having their own story arcs. The love story, being part of Kai's, has such little attention the over-dramatic ending leaves the audience indifferent towards the two of them.

Outsiders, or people of a different race, were not allowed in feudal Japan. However, because Kai is mixed race (I would assume the other half is white), he is ostracized as a demon. You even see the people he came from at some point in this movie. The feudal Japanese people labeled white people as demons. The more you think about the things depicted, the more ridiculous everything seems.

The film doesn't just have a subtle discrimination toward Caucasians, but it feels generally offensive of Japanese culture in general. It wasn't mocking it (intentionally). But it used plenty of ideas from the culture that forced the audience to laugh when it wasn't intended. It also claims the Ronin were on a journey that would defeat most men, but it was more like "Let's get swords!" and then "Let's kill them!" The simplicity of the poorly re-written plot is astounding.

There is an extensive use of CGI that just explains why this movie went so far over budget besides reshoots. There were so many occurrences that took me out of the movie that made me think "That is completely unnecessary." The film is mostly shown in 3D, but I saw it in 2D, because no one wants to pay for it unless it's critically acclaimed necessary (i.e. Gravity). Because a good third of the movie is so boring, you may need the 3D just to keep your attention.

To clear something up, the marketing for this movie has a poster dedicated to this one character that has roughly 10 seconds of screentime. No joke. This guy has one line. He doesn't even have a name, he's credited as Savage (Rick Genest). This must have been the highest paid one line from an unknown actor in history. 

I will say that it has some impressive action sequences, though cut short. The ending feels predictable, but it actually is fairly original. Because when it gets to the point where you're thinking "I know what's going to happen" it twists into something completely different. It is still less satisfying than what you expected of it.

Overall, you may not remember this movie two days after you watch it. I'm already starting to fade. Dialogue is an issue with practically the entire cast. Visual effects are dazzling, but quickly grow tiresome. A split plot may as well split scores in half. This movie would be bearable had a third of it been more memorable, but with all of its problems, you will probably leave disappointed in 47 Ronin.

Rating: C-